


just hands ;

by remylebabe



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Constipation, Everyone Is Gay, For the most part, Gay Panic, Guess Who's Back, How Do I Tag, Lots of it, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, bi panic? whatever, gob? confused about his sexuality? never., it'll be resolved someday ;), it's me i'm a mess, maybe other ships? who knows, post 5x16
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 03:15:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18864607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remylebabe/pseuds/remylebabe
Summary: Whatever this was, it was decidedly not straight.





	just hands ;

_Just Hands._

The words kept echoing in Gob’s head, from the moment Tony said them. Through Michael and George Michael leaving, through Lindsay and Tobias making up, through Buster revealing he killed Lucille 2. 

(Which, even he could admit, was a little fucked up. His ex-lover/his brother’s ex-lover/his mother’s rival/who fucking knows what else is revealed to be dead by that same brother who also fucked her and he was still here, thinking about Tony being alive.

…And that was without even addressing how fucked up everything that he’d chosen to ignore was. So, Gob was like…double fucked. Double fucked by Tony Wonder.  
_If only._ )

Three days had passed since then, and, to his family’s pleasure (if they had even noticed, that is,) Gob had gone completely off the radar. (Much more effectively than Michael ever had, mind you. Michael was probably back right now, knowing him.) By off the radar, of course, this meant Sudden Valley – Gob had wasted the time away eating mustard and grated parmesan cheese and definitely not picking up his phone and putting it back down without calling anyone. He was just keeping it cool.

Believe it or not, his worry right now wasn’t even calling Tony. Okay, maybe it was, just a little bit, but there was another, more immediate concern. It was calling Joni Beard. Gob had made a firm resolution with himself that he wouldn’t leave the house until he called her, got back with her so he could confirm he was totally, 100% not gay. Back to the Christian magician, back to fucking women. He had to do it, he told Tony he would, and besides, Tony was going back to Sally. Because Tony was _really straight._ God, he needed something to occupy his time.

As if going back to his family wouldn’t have given him enough to do.

The only issue with all of this was that Gob had said he wouldn’t leave the house and he was _starving._ Apparently, you couldn’t sustain yourself on his diet of choice, which was news to him. It had never failed him prior. Maybe because he usually had plenty of alcohol to drown any feeling? Anyway, point was, Gob had even tried to figure out one of those food delivery apps, but he couldn’t make the goddamn thing work. So he was either doomed to starve, or call Joni Beard. Starving…felt easier.

And then his stomach rumbled again. Loudly.

Groaning, Gob picked himself off the floor (where he’d been laying for ages now) and grabbed his phone, pressing Joni’s name on his phone before he could talk himself out of it. Three rings later, and an annoyed voice appeared on the other side of the phone. “Gob.”  
“Joni!” Gob responded, keeping his tone bright. “My beard. How would you like to get together tonight? We can have straight sex, I can touch your totally bangin’ totally real rack.” Hmm. That was…unconvincing. Apparently Gob may have lost some of his touch. He’d been so caught up in this whole gay-but-also-not-being-gay thing to remember how to flirt with women, apparently. Which had always come to him so easily. 

His weak flirting was returned with a short silence, and then finally, sharply, “No, Gob. You’re _gay._ ”

“I—I’m not gay, Ton—Joni. Joni.” What kind of a fucking slip was that? Since when were their names so similar?

“Gob, I’ve been used as a beard before. People apparently think the last name invites that. You don’t have to pretend. Please don’t pretend. In fact, please don’t call again.”

“But—I’m straight, we should date!” Ooh, that was a good rhyme. _Nice._

“Goodbye, Gob. Don’t call again.” A click sound followed, and then the dial tone.

Fuck. Okay, what was he supposed to do now? Before he could figure out what he was doing, as if he was on autopilot, Gob found himself calling Tony, not even hovering over his name as he’d done so many times before.

“Gob?” This voice was Tony’s. Perhaps somewhat confused, perhaps a little _excited_ , even (although maybe that was Gob imagining it), but it was already better than Joni’s.

“Tony!” Perhaps that was a bit overeager. “Uh, I mean, Tony. I…it’s just been awhile since we’ve seen each other and I was wondering if? Maybe? You’d like to hang out tonight? As just hands—I mean. Friends. Just. Friends.” Gob laughed nervously.

“Really?” Tony’s voice was definitely at least a little excited. Gob was pretty sure of that. “I mean, I’m not, like, the head of Sally’s company yet, so we could definitely be friends right now. What were you thinking?”

Gob hadn’t thought that far. He actually hadn’t thought at all to this point. “Um. You could come over, maybe? We could watch a movie or something?” That wasn’t gay. Movies weren’t gay.

“Do you actually _have_ a place now?” Tony’s voice was light, clearly joking, but Gob couldn’t help but sputter out an indignant noise.

“Of course I do.” A pause. “Sort of. Linds and Tobias are back together-ish so they’re living somewhere, Michael and George Michael are gone, and my parents…” Gob made a face. He didn’t really want to know. “Point is, I’ve got the house at Sudden Valley now. The one where we…” No, Tony didn’t remember that. Tony had taken a forget-me-now and now he wasn’t in Gob’s fucking situation. “Where we performed the illusion. Just the other day.”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah. I’d…really like that, actually.” Gob may have been crazy (he probably was), but Tony sounded…soft. It made Gob feel all funny inside, made his heart do a little back-flip that was incredibly decidedly not-straight. “What time were you thinking?”

“What time _is_ it?” Gob blurted instantly, realizing he’d totally lost track of time. All he knew is it couldn’t have been nighttime, because light was pouring in through the windows. Before Tony could answer, Gob pulled his phone from his ear, registering the time and then returning the phone to his face in what seemed like a split second. “It’s noon now, so…eight?” Gob couldn’t help but sound incredibly hopeful, desperate, even, even though Tony had technically already said yes.

“Eight.” Tony repeated, and a smile spread across Gob’s face. “I’ll see you then. It’s a date.”

Gob felt absolutely _giddy._ A date. _A fucking date._ Tony definitely didn’t mean it in the way that Gob wanted him to mean it, but, regardless, Gob was absolutely going to cling onto that. Trying (and failing) to keep his voice level, Gob nearly stumbled over his words as he responded “Yeah, see you then. Bye, Tony.”

“Bye, Gob.” A click, and a dial tone once more, but instead of dread, Gob now felt like he was walking on clouds. Which was normal, and totally a straight thing to do. Like getting excited over a date was.

Oh, who was Gob kidding? This…wasn’t straight. Whatever this was, it was decidedly not straight. But he couldn’t afford for it to not be. He had to push it back, because Tony _was_ straight, and. Hands. Friends. Whatever they were.

Filing that feeling in the ‘things to repress for a very, very long time’ category, Gob made his way to his feet, greeted by his action by his stomach rumbling. Fuck, there was so much to do before Tony got here. Like…make sure he ate food. And had food here. And pick out a movie. And most importantly, pick out a _goddamn outfit._ Was he going to have enough time to do all of this? Shit. He had to get going, now. Nearly stumbling over his own two feet as he darted upstairs, Gob felt like a bundle of energy – some nervous, some elated, mostly confused – but none of that mattered right now. He had a _date_ to get ready for.

**Author's Note:**

> hi folks i 100% have the aforementioned all planned out and i am /craving/ writing it but i must finish finals first so. until then, enjoy this little snippet of future blunder goodness. and gob being a fool. mostly gob being a fool. stick around, and if you like it, please pester me so i return to it, because i desperately want to. ;)
> 
> also this is my first time writing these two so. still getting the hang of them! <3


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